By Emily Feimster
We've been taught that hard work and perseverance pay off, which may work in some places, but this is Hollywood, baby, and those rules don't apply! So toss aside those Harvard degrees and elite social connections and discover just how easy it is to get noticed around here. Pay attention to our 10 Ways to the Top in Tinseltown and no doubt you'll be thanking us later.
1. Prove You Can't Sing. Take it from Ashlee Simpson, this one really works. Since her "Saturday Night Live" lip-synching fiasco, Ashlee is still being asked to perform though each performance is worse than the one before. Remember the Orange Bowl? Exactly! But the girl keeps snagging headlines so she must be doing something right. She's not the only one, though, getting noticed for those bad, bad, bad vibrations. Think Lindsay Lohan, William Shatner, and Hilary Duff, just to name a few.
2. Marry Well. We've got just the man to prove this point - Kevin Federline. The former back-up dancer left his baby's mama as soon as Miss Spears batted her eyes. The man clearly knows what he's doing as it was reported that Britney even paid for her own wedding ring. Another person pulled out of oblivion was back-up dancer Cris Judd. What is it with singers and their dancers? He got a taste of the good life when he was married to Jennifer Lopez for a split second. Luckily, the sting of the divorce didn't last long once he received a multi-million dollar parting gift.
3. Expose Your Nipple.
Wardrobe malfunction? We don't think so! It had been way too long since Janet Jackson
put out an album worth listening to, so you can't blame a girl for wanting to bring new meaning to the term "boob tube." And it totally worked! Not only did it cause a national debate, but people are still talking about it. It wasn't long before Tara Reid
was following suit. She allowed herself to be photographed for five minutes on the red carpet before realizing that one of her "girls" was peaking out to get a breath of fresh air. That was the most attention Tara has received in years!
4. Play Ugly. If you're ever aching for an Oscar then snag a role that forces you to be extremely unattractive. Hilary Swank did it in "Boys Don't Cry" when she cut her hair to play an ugly girl-turned-boy, and she's been nominated again having just portrayed a homely-looking boxer in "Million Dollar Baby." But don't think this has only worked for Hilary. Oscar came knocking on Charlize Theron's door as soon as she gained weight to play a hideously ugly lesbian in "Monster." And let's not forget Halle Berry in "Monster's Ball."
5. Do a Reality Show. Hey, if William Hung can get famous by being rejected on "American Idol" then there must be something to these reality shows. Having your own reality show especially comes in handy if you're lacking the necessary talent to become a real actor. It worked for Jessica Simpson, Flavor Flav, Anna Nicole Smith, Tyra Banks, Nicole Richie, and it could work for you.
6. Dress Badly. We realize this may sound like poor advice but you'll at least get in magazines, people! It doesn't matter if you haven't had a hit song in a while or no one wants to put you in their movie, if you're consistently making the "Worst Dressed" List then somebody's paying attention. Christina Aguilera and David Arquette can completely vouch for this one.
7. Date Younger Men. Although Demi Moore was a leading lady back in her day, she had been out of the spotlight for 10 years before hooking up with Ashton Kutcher. Now everyone is so fascinated by their relationship that they can never escape the paparazzi. Same goes for Cameron Diaz who's with the much younger Justin Timberlake, and dating Heath Ledger certainly didn't hurt Naomi Watts.
8. Gain and Lose an Extreme Amount of Weight. Like my body? Tell me you've never heard of TrimSpa, baby? It helped Anna Nicole's celebrity status shoot through the roof this year due to her unbelievable amount of weight loss. On the other hand, tabloids have never been so interested in Kirstie Alley as they have since her significant weight gain. As a result, the actress got her own TV show and has been signed as Jenny Craig's new spokesperson.
9. Have a Baby. Have you seen how much press those pregnant ladies get? Julia Roberts, Debra Messing, Kate Hudson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Liv Tyler - as soon as their bellies started popping out, we couldn't get enough. Now everyone wants to discuss why in the world anyone would name their baby Apple or Phinnaeus.
10. Be a Dumb Blonde. "So is 'Chicken of the Sea' chicken or tuna?" That's right, when all else fails, play dumb. Ever since America was allowed a peek into Jessica Simpson's life, they fell in love with this ditzy blonde who thought buffalos had wings. But let's not forget about Paris Hilton. "What? I didn't know the video camera was on." Yet, people still love her. It's fascinating!