Celebrities: You Know You're Over-Exposed When...
By Stacy Jenel Smith
It's often said around Tinsel Town that the public and media love to build up stars - and then, once they hit a saturation point of coverage, to tear them down.
Sure, Tom Cruise, Martha Stewart, and a parade of other celebrities going back to Suzanne Somers and beyond, had business and behavior issues that caused them trouble. But would the harm have been as great had it not been for their wearing out their public welcomes, at least temporarily? Can over-exposure do to show business careers what the radiance of the sun did to mythological flying man Icarus' wings -- melt the wax holding them together, thus sending them plummeting to earth?
Here are ten signs to show celebrities the heat has gotten too intense. You know you are over-exposed when:
Unimportant moments in your day get pumped up into Event status by paparazzi photos. Britney Spears
eats yet more fried food. Strands of Nicole Richie
's wig hair get caught in a mini-fan. Paris Hilton
has T.P. stuck to her shoe. Mary-Kate Olsen
drinks coffee. Ashley Olsen
drinks coffee as well.
2. You find yourself analyzed by a parade of experts you've never met - psychologists who interpret your and your mate's handwriting, diet choices, or body language. In May, 2005, for instance, Dr. Barry S. Lubetkin studied photos of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to help the Star magazine editors figure out whether the couple's romance was fake or legitimate. Dr. Lubetkin determined that the way Tom pulled Katie along a street holding her hand in a tight grip indicated he's controlling. Whoa, who'da thunk it?
3. CNN, Fox News, the Associated Press and countless other media outlets treat it as a news story when you announce your intention to remain celibate for awhile. "I'm not having sex for a year," Paris Hilton told British GQ in a widely-quoted August story. "I'll kiss, but nothing else." Stop the presses! Analysts subsequently pondered the credibility of her claim. After all, she also told the magazine that she has had sex with only two men during her lifetime.
4. People go to the trouble of making charts to keep track of your love life. In the case of Jessica Simpson and John Mayer, that's People magazine, with a "Dating Dance Card" chart in pink in the Sept. 11 issue, showing pics of Adam Levine, Johnny Knoxville, Jared Leto, Bam Margera and Nick Lachey. And for Mayer, Jennifer Love Hewitt. And by the way, any of those celebrities could easily fill a chart of their own.
5. Certain parts of your body are known to the masses, like Mark Wahlberg's bulge when he was an underwear model, Farrah Fawcett's perky feminine accoutrements poking her bathing suit top in the 12-million-copy-selling 1976 poster, and, of course, Janet Jackson's sunburst ring-adorned, Super Bowl-wardrobe-malfunction-bared nipple.
6. Your naughty peccadilloes come out. Like Halle Berry, confessing that she puts her "X-Men" bodysuit to good use off the set: "I wear it sometimes. You have got to keep your life spiced up. Storm never has sex in the movies, but Storm certainly has a lot of sex at my house!"
7. Reporters seek out your relatives hoping they'll say something embarrassing or revealing about you that will make a story. Think Jon Voight's "serious mental problems" comment about daughter Angelina Jolie or any of a number of comments made by Lindsay Lohan's jailbird father Michael.
8. Your Stupid Remarks take on a life of their own. To wit: "I think every decade has an iconic blond, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana, and right now, I'm that icon," said Paris Hilton -- further evidence that the world is going downhill.
9. The public is aware of how you express yourself when discussing your flatulence and/or constipation. "I think I need to go, um...drop some kids in the pool," informed Jessica Simpson before a national television audience, back in those halcyon MTV "Newlywed" days. And she told then-husband Nick Lachey, "I have bubbles in my tummy...It's just air. It's not stink. Promise." And who could forget - much as we may want to -- Bobby Brown describing how he assisted wife Whitney Houston: "I pulled a dootie bubble out of you're a--."
10. Your personal life is flogged to such a degree the public barely remembers your work by comparison. For instance, fans probably know that Jennifer Aniston's romantically involved with Vince Vaughn, that ex-husband Brad Pitt left her for Angelina Jolie, that she had a long period of estrangement with her mother, that her "Friends" hairstyle became the rage in its day, that she likes The Zone diet and so on. But how many can name her last four films? (They were "The Break Up," which scored a hefty domestic box office gross of $118 million; "Rumor Has It" (a lackluster $40 million domestically); "Derailed" (a not-so-great $35 million); "Along Came Polly" (a cool $88 million).
Score bonus points if you can name Angelina's last four movies. You can't, can you?