By Stephanie DuBois "In the twelfth month of this year, we count calamities... Mel Gibson ranting, Britney Spears de-panting, K-Fed accusing, Pam and Kid divorcing Washington a-leaping, Kate Hudson creeping, Snoop Dogg a-toking, Morgan DUI-ing, DeVito drinking, Michael Vick offending...And Richards' racist rant 'is not me!'

"The 12 Days of Christmas" is one of those perennials sung in the spirit of the holiday season. Now as we look back on a year in which celebrities at times imbibed too many spirits or became a little too spirited, we bring you "The 12 Calamities of 2006" in the spirit of the Hollywood season, of course.

Mel Gibson ranting...
Gibson's drunken, anti-Semitic ranting after being arrested for drunk driving is one of the greater calamities to be self-generated by a celeb this year, make that any year. "The Passion of the Christ" filmmaker has repeatedly tried to atone for his saying-it-with-my-out-loud-voice sins by immediately seeking help for what he terms a "lifelong battle with alcoholism" and making several public apologies. However, the jury's still out on when the nuclear fallout will clear from that fall from grace.

Britney Spears de-panting...
Apparently fallen pop star Britney Spears thinks she's making a name for her posterior not her posterity. In latest moves that have even her die-hard fans wondering 'Why, Britney, why?" Spears has been seen and photographed prancing about sans drawers with her new best bud, Paris Hilton. All while on the verge of a custody battle with her soon-to-be-ex, Kevin "K-Fed" Federline. When I was growing up old folks used to say to someone who was acting up or ugly, "You're showing your a--!" and that was a bad thing. Oh, how times have changed.

K-Fed accusing...
Once he got the text message that the Spears Meal Train was leaving the station, K-Fed began accusing his soon-to-be-ex, Britney, of maybe not being the best Mom to raise their two small children. So between partying with his crew, pushing his rap album and offering himself up to the lovely ladies in concert giveaways, Federline is filing for full custody. And he's reportedly threatened to release a home sex video of their undying love in case Spears wants to play hardball. The real calamity here is that the children could end up with Britney or K-Fed. Where is that village it takes to raise a kid when you need it?

Pam and Kid divorcing...
When Pam Anderson and Kid Rock reunited and married, not once, not twice, but three times just a few months back, industry wags saw calamity written on the wall. When Anderson announced her wedding plans on her website in July, she said, "I've raised my kids alone in hope of a miracle. Well my miracle came and went. And came back and came back because he knew that I'd wake up one day and realize that I was waiting for nothing." Now it seems Pam's dream has become yet another nightmare divorce, with them both rushing to file papers by the end of November. The couple first got together in Spring 2001, were engaged by April 2002, and had broken up by June 2003. The problem with picking up with someone right where you left off, is you're quite often still at the same place, in the same space.

Washington a-leaping...
"Grey's Anatomy" doc Isaiah Washington must have been feeling particularly froggy the day he found himself a-leaping for co-star Patrick Dempsey's throat on the set of the hit medical drama. Adding injury to insult, the altercation was reportedly prompted by Washington making an anti-gay slur about his tardy co-star, T.R. Knight, which led Knight to come out of the closet. Washington, "Grey's Anatomy" producers and rest of the cast have been intent on putting the whole incident behind them and maintain all's well that end's well but Washington is still having to soft-pedal around the incident.

Kate Hudson creeping...
Kate Hudson's rumored creeping became even more widely speculated after her husband of six years, Black Crowes' lead singer Chris Robinson, filed for divorce Nov. 17. The mother of a two-year-old son has been romantically linked with Owen Wilson for months.

Snoop Dogg a toking...
Okay, Snoop Dogg a toking is nothing new. And neither is being arrested! Earlier this month Snoop was popped for the third time in as many months outside NBC studios after taping "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno." In October he was arrested at Burbank Airport after they found a gun and marijuana in his car. And In September, he was arrested for possessing a deadly weapon (a baton he tried to carry on an airplane) at John Wayne airport in Orange County. Gee, wonder how the police were able to obtain the search warrant that turned up marijuana, cocaine, a firearm, and a false compartment in the car after Snoop was leaving 'The Tonight Show?' Could it be because when you rap about staying high and strapped, and every time you're stopped you're carrying marijuana and a gun, a pattern starts to emerge? Don't complain about being profiled, if you're going to paint the profile yourself.

Morgan DUI-ing...
It's SOCDY -- Same Old Calamity Different Year -- for former "SNL" regular Tracy Morgan, who was arrested the end of November in Upper Manhattan on a DUI (driving under the influence) while on probation for drunken driving charges from last December. The comedian, who now stars on NBC's "30 Rock" sitcom, pleaded no contest in February to a misdemeanor charge from his Hollywood arrest Dec. 2, 2005. Sentenced to 36 months probation, Morgan was also ordered to attend an alcohol education program. Obviously, he's not going to the head of that class.

DeVito a-drinking...
At least Danny DeVito can lay his a-drinking and recent calamitous guesting on "The View" on his buddy, George Clooney's, doorstep. DeVito came right out and acknowledged he was blitzed from pulling an all-nighter with Clooney. "I knew it was the last seven limoncellos that was going to get me,"' he told "The View" co-hosts, Joy Behar, Rosie O'Donnell, Barbara Walters and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. DeVito's speech was slurred, he told a crass story about himself and wife, actress Rhea Perlman, sleeping in and trashing the Lincoln Bedroom in the White House during Clinton's administration. His words had to be bleeped as he made disparaging remarks and jokes about President Bush.

Michael Vick offending...
Atlanta Falcons quarterback, Michael Vick, found himself offending not just the fans when the team lost to New Orleans recently, but the millions of viewers watching as cameras captured him shouting and making obscene gestures with both hands while the crowed booed the team. Vick apologized, explaining that, "I was frustrated and upset at how the game was going for my team, and that frustration came out the wrong way. That's not what I'm about. That's not what the Atlanta Falcons are about. I simply lost my cool in the heat of the moment. I apologize and look forward to putting this incident behind me."

And Richards' racist rant 'is not me!'
Former "Seinfeld" regular Michael Richards might want to consider starting a quartet with Gibson, Washington and Vick to do a remake of "Wasn't Me." Just as Gibson, Washington and Vick have had to convince the world that their anti-semitic and homophobic remarks and/or antagonistic behavior are not representative of the real person, Richards is fighting - and fighting -- to overcome the racist label.

Since his tirade in a L.A. comedy club during which he hurled insults and repeatedly used the "N-word" at some hecklers, Richards has been trying to make amends - apologizing on "The Late Show with David Letterman," appearing on Jesse Jackson's radio show and meeting with the four African-American hecklers. He's been supported by African-American comic buddies such as the Wayans brothers and Paul Mooney, who co-sign Richards' claim that he is not a racist, but some wonder if he'll be forever tainted by his outburst.

The thing about any fall from grace, however, is that you can rise with grace as well.

May the holiday season find these celebs' stockings and yours filled with the gift of Amazing Grace.