Keep Flirting with Ex?
Q: I was dating a guy for about nine months. I guess it wasn't working for him and he decided to end it and started re-dating a prior girlfriend. Since we travel in similar circles, he's popped up and there is clearly still an attraction between us. One evening we even had a brief display of public affection. I've dated others and have an active social life, but when we see each other, there is flirtation going on. I don't know if it's an ego thing for me, feeling flattered because he ended it and still finds me attractive. But I know no good can come from this. What should I do? — Rhonda, 31
Dr. Susan: It doesn't take a rocket scientist, or even an advice columnist, to figure this one out. Just. Stop. Flirting. You will encounter many men to whom you'll be attracted, and who are also attracted to you. We're horny animals, after all. It's just wrong to pursue this in any way. Practice avoiding situations like this where your gut tells you it's a losing proposition. Get that practice in now, so when you're married someday and it happens, you'll be able to be strong. Flirting can be fun, but you guys didn't make it as a couple and you've both moved on. So get your ego boost a better way.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.