Boyfriend Doesn't Earn Enough

Q: I love my boyfriend. We live together and get along extremely well. The problem is that he is a carpenter and doesn't make much money. I'm tired of paying for things and not doing things together that cost too much money (like trips) because he can't afford it. Do I dump him and hope that another person comes along that I can enjoy just as much? HELP!! — Elizabeth, 57

Dr. Susan: You have to ask yourself if you're willing to make that big a gamble with the rest of your life. If you really love this fellow, you probably wouldn't seriously be considering dumping him. How can you know the odds of finding someone who will be just as lovable to you, who will love you back, and who can also afford to do all the things you would like to do? I know what I'd do if I were you: I'd get creative and discover new enjoyable activities that aren't at all costly.

Is taking expensive trips so necessary to you? Of course, if the two of you were seriously committed (i.e., married or planning to be), then your money and his money wouldn't necessarily be separate. So that if you wanted to take an occasional trip, and it was important to you, you'd pay for both of you. Or else you (or both of you) would seek out additional means of earning money to pay for such extravagances. It's short-sighted to leave a man you love because you can't adapt to his limited earning ability.

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