She Fears Mate's Angry Driving
Q: Over the past several years, the neighborhood in which we live has become increasingly congested. My husband has become aggressive behind the wheel and even once followed another driver into a parking lot to dispute a narrowly missed accident. I've expressed my concern repeatedly and have even threatened to not ride with him anymore-but is this ultimatum helpful or hurtful? - Thelma, 52
Dr. Susan: An ultimatum is only helpful if you mean it. If your husband assumes you're bluffing, making a threat you can't or won't follow through on, he will naturally ignore you. I would be concerned, as you are, with his short-sighted behavior. Disputing a near-accident with a stranger by following him into a parking lot has, I'm pretty sure, cost at least a life or two. Your husband needs to do something about his aggressiveness and anger issues. Trying to proves he's in the right could someday be his last day. Be ready to find other ways to get where you need to go without him driving you in the car.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.