Wanting a Baby in the Worst Way
Q: I feel like my biological clock is ticking, and I really want to have a baby soon. But I'm not dating a guy right now. But I have this friend who says he'll sleep with me if I'm lonely. He doesn't know about the baby part, just talking about satisfying that need we all have. He's joking, kind of. But I think he's good looking and we could make pretty babies. I'm thinking about sleeping with him and seeing what happens. He's got a good job and could contribute to the child support. Maybe it's meant to be.—Cassie, 28
Dr. Susan: No, no, no, and double no! Sure your clock is ticking, but its final alarm is not close to going off yet. Sleeping with a friend who jokes about helping you meet your intimacy needs is not the way to go. Making pretty babies is not what parenting is all about. If you're halfway serious, the two of you must talk about it in great detail and think about every possible ramification. It would not be fair to the guy, who only wants a bit of sex, not a lifetime of support payments. It's most definitely not fair to a baby for you to be so casual about making this huge decision. And it would make your search for a life mate so much more challenging. I'm totally sure that this is NOT meant to be.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.