Distressed At Dinner
Q: I have been on a diet program for a lot of years that is rigid around when I can eat and how much I can eat. I have worked hard and lost a lot of weight over the past 3 years, and I feel great about myself. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and we recently had a huge fight about my diet. He is a major foodie and says I'm being 'high maintenance' in restaurants about what I eat. I'm afraid he's going to break up with me over this. Should I start being less rigid around the diet or should I break up with him before he breaks up with me? -Mona,41
Dr. Anna: Food and eating can be an emotionally charged topic. What you choose to put in your body is highly personal. But at the same time, sharing a meal is also very social and one of the ways we as humans feel connected to each other. I would try to talk to him about why he feels that you have to share the same food experiences at restaurants. I wonder if there is a way for you two to feel connected while eating out that doesn't involve you compromising your health. Assuming you two have an otherwise healthy relationship, this is probably not going to be a dealbreaker. You'll just need to get a bit creative.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.