Overworked and Tired
Q: How can I get my husband to snap out of it? I am married with four kids and we live in a beautiful gated community, but it comes at a very hefty price tag. My husband is in finance and works anywhere from 70-80 hours a week. He refuses to work on the weekends, which is great, but not so great considering he just wants to sit around and relax. Making any kind of plans that don't involve sitting by the pool, watching the game, and drinking are out of the question. I can't exactly blame the poor guy as he does work so hard, but I am beginning to think I am living a rather dull life. To some people, they would envy our home, but what good is it if your husband would rather veg out on the pool deck than spend time with you? -Marybeth, 42
Dr. Anna: You have a good point here—while financially you're rich, in terms of activities and quality time, you're feeling pretty deprived. Your best bet is to frame the conversation from a place of love and excitement. Tell him you appreciate his hard work and all of the things money can buy, but you miss him and the kids miss him. If you'd rather have time with him than more money, consider offering to make changes like spending less money, selling a car, or somehow cutting back so he can work less. It sounds like you need more from a partnership than financial support. Start there and see how it goes.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.