Misbehaving Best Friend

Q: This past weekend my fiancé and I had a get together at our place. Both his and my friends were there. One of my fiancé’s best friends is known to be a bit of a flirt. He has a girlfriend, but that hasn’t stopped him before. I’ve seen him flirting with waitresses in front of his girlfriend. Anyway, while the party went on in the other room, I excused myself to go into the kitchen to prepare the dessert. While there, this friend of my fiancé’s walked in and began talking to me. He was very close to me and kept touching me on the shoulder. He eventually said something pretty inappropriate about the dress I was wearing, and the whole scenario made me really uncomfortable. I’m debating on whether I should tell my fiancé or not. Part of me wants to because I really don’t want to ever tolerate that nonsense, especially in my home. Then there’s that part of me that worries that it could mess up their friendship.-Brittany, 25

Dr. Anna: I am 100% with you. You absolutely should not tolerate that nonsense. It’s unfortunate that your fiancé’s friend did that. In the moment, it is okay to be calm and direct and stop unwanted comments in their tracks. You could say something like, “The way you are standing too close, touching my shoulder, and speaking to me is making me uncomfortable. Please back off.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with using your voice to enforce and maintain your own personal space and boundaries. You can also consider enlisting the help of your fiancé. Why keep it a secret from him? Tell him what happened without being overly dramatic and ask him if he’s willing to keep an eye on his friend next time. It’s okay to tell him you don’t need him to protect you—you can take care of yourself—but that you’d like his help in avoiding future similar situations.

Copyright © Fun Online Corporation

Love Experts

Need Advice? Ask Our Experts!

Love Library: Featured Articles

Sex Wars: He Said / She Said