Disappearing Dates

Q:I just started dating again after ending a long relationship. Meeting guys doesn't seem to be a problem, but no matter how we first connected — dating apps, the bars, the gym — they all seem to disappear after a date or two. Sometimes we text for a few weeks, and then they disappear before we even meet! Why do I keep getting ghosted? -Maya, 24

Dr. Anna: There is no getting around it—today's dating climate can be tough! In a world of swipes and casual connections, it can be hard to find stability and true intimacy. Sometimes fear of being ghosted can lead to you being more closed off. You want to protect yourself, so you don't open up as easily. But this can lead to other people sensing that something is off and they fade away on their own. Learning to show up and be real—while still keeping your heart protected!—takes practice. Finding some friends who are going through the same dating process can help. Getting support or ideas from a dating coach or relationship therapist can also help you break through old patterns and build the kinds of connections you're looking for.

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