Is He Cheating?
Q:My boyfriend is a super athletic guy and has been training for Ironman marathons lately. He's also been getting massages more frequently. His massage therapist has always been a man at the gym, but he said it's now some woman. Every time I ask him about the massage, he gets uncomfortable and vague. Apparently, the massages are no longer at the gym but some other place. I'm thinking there is something more to these massages but I have no proof. Just a feeling. What do I do? --Deena, 38
Dr. Anna: Good relationships are built on trust and communication. If your gut is telling you something is up, don't ignore it. See if you can bring up your experiences in a direct but gentle way. Telling him the things you've noticed and ask him directly what you're worried about—like whether he is having an affair. If you're still feeling uncomfortable after the conversation, it may be time to consider whether couple's counseling can help you sort out what's been happening between you two. Trust your intuition and take reasonable steps to sort out the problem.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.