Divorce Not Final
Q:My (soon to be) ex-husband and I have been separated for almost a year. The formal divorce is taking long than it should, but is definitely happening. In the meantime, though, I'm ready to start dating again. I just don't know how, or when, to mention this to men. --Angela, 42
Dr. Anna: If the relationship is definitely over, and it really is just the legal paperwork process that's unfinished, why not just say that? Usually there is some conversation about past relationships in the beginning of a new romantic connection, so just saying something like, "I've been out of my marriage for a year, but we're still working on finishing the divorce paperwork" should be a clear enough signal that you're ready to move on. If you're still having some lingering feelings or wishes about being back in the marriage, then that's a separate issue to work on before you dive back into the dating world.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.