Sad and Lonely Forever?
Q: I am 26 years old and my boyfriend just broke up with me. To be honest, he didn't always treat me the best. He stood me up more then once, didn't call when he said he would, etc. But he kept telling me he loved me and that he wanted a future with me. I really thought we could work through our problems because of the love we shared. But he decided to end everything. My best girl friend has totally disappeared into the guy she is now with, and now I have no one to even talk to about this. I don't want to be sad and lonely forever. What can I do? I really need help!!!! - Dana
Dr. Susan: You're missing the big picture here, Dana. Life is a constant series of small and large changes, and if you're sad and lonely today, who knows what you'll be a week or a month from now? Your boyfriend doesn't sound like any prize catch to begin with. Saying he loved you isn't worth as much as SHOWING it, and what he showed was a lack of respect and consideration for you. Break-ups are always hard to deal with. As your best friend is temporarily preoccupied with her own life, you need to find someone else to talk to, whether another girl friend who might fill in or even a professional counselor. And then get involved in something other than yourself. While it's hard to get started when you're feeling blue, you'll find that if you do some volunteer activity, it will bring you out of yourself just long enough to realize there's a big world out there. There is no reason to be sad and lonely forever when there are so many other sad and lonely people out there. Reach out a little.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.