He Lies and She Can't Cope
Q: My boyfriend lives with me and my mother, who is 92. He's constantly on Craigslist looking for young girls. I know he contacts them via e-mail, though I can't get into his computer. I know he also texts them on his phone. I have asked him why, and of course he denies it, insisting I'm the only one. I have told him to stop or I'm going to look for another man. He can't afford his own apartment since he was fired from his job several months ago. Not sure how to handle this situation? Any ideas? -- Louise, 61
Dr. Susan: Whether or not your boyfriend can afford to move out is not really your business at this point. If you have evidence that he's cheating on you, even if it's only your own eyes watching him prowl for girls on Craigslist, you have every right to give him an ultimatum: Stop or you're outta here. To truly prove his innocence, he could give you access to his computer and phone records. Unless your suspicions are coming out of nowhere, you do need to take action and not allow him to continue to use you. If you can't trust his honesty in this matter, then he could just as well be exploiting you or your elderly mother in other ways, too.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.