Love At First Sight...for Her
Q: I met a man two months ago and it was "love at first sight" for me. I have been making sure that I am in his line of sight as often as possible, and we have exchanged sunny smiles and have had a couple of pleasant conversations. I have made all the subtle overtures and not so subtle ones by telling him that I enjoyed his company and would like to see him again.
However, he has mentioned that he has a very tight schedule. I took that as a clue that he is not interested, although he seemed very interested prior to that occasion. Mixed signals, or has he changed his mind? I suppose I may never know. I'm hoping he will think about it twice, and give me a call. I will be seeing him around and figure I should keep my distance from now on. What do you think? -- Priscilla, 42
Dr. Susan: When a man is interested in a woman, he finds the time to be with her. While it may indeed be true that he has a busy schedule, if he can't make time for romance or intimacy, or even fun, then it doesn't matter what his deeper reasons may be. It doesn't even matter if it's something you did or said or the way you look or anything. You pretty much have to take him at his word. Frustrating, to be sure. Keeping your distance sounds like a good idea. He will certainly let you know if he has real feelings for you, but for now, you've done all you can.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.