Does "Engaged" Mean "Hands Off"?
Q: A friend of mine recently met the man she felt was the one she was meant to marry. For a while it seemed the interest on his end might be headed in the same direction. Then she found out he was engaged. Should she tell him she is interested or keep silent and wish them both a happy life together? -- Gayle, 32
Dr. Susan: This friend of yours should really stop thinking in terms of some guy being the one she's "meant to marry." It doesn't work that way. Especially, as it turns out, when the guy is not telling the truth about his availability. I suggest running the other way. Over her shoulder she could wish him good luck and a happy life. But telling him she's "interested" and holding out hope that he'll dump his girlfriend is just asking for trouble.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.