Sudden Love for Best Friend
Q: I am in love with my best friend. We were at a party on Friday and for some reason we danced very very close. He held me in his arms and I loved it! We've decided not to ruin this wonderful friendship, but the more time I spend with him the deeper I fall in love with him. Should I tell him or just stay friends? - Felicia, 22
Dr. Susan: Step away from the friend! Really, you have a couple of options. If he and you both decided not to risk your friendship with a here-today-gone-tomorrow romance, then stick to that. And avoid physical contact that will obviously turn your brains off and other parts on. However, if you think the two of you have a lot going for you, and you would like to take the relationship a step toward the risky end, then tell him you're now having trouble seeing him as "just a friend." Respect whatever his choice is.
FYI, what you're feeling isn't love. It's a biochemical component (lust) that got added to the friendship mix when you danced closely. Happens all the time, leads to pointless affairs and much regret, and, by itself, has very little to do with "love."
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.