Tired of Neglect
Q: My husband always wants to watch television and hardly pays any attention to me. He spends a lot of time in the bathroom, and I think he is cheating on me. He gets angry at me so much. I married my best friend and lover of 33 years. What do you think I should do? Also, my mom passed four years ago and now my dad lives with us. -- Sharon, 50
Dr. Susan: You have your hands full, don't you? Your husband seems not to be the guy you married and loved for all those 33 years. You and he need to talk seriously about where to go from here. Are you going to try to instill some fun into your marriage or is he really gone already, emotionally? The bathroom is probably where he feels he has some privacy. The anger and the possible cheating are very serious. I recommend pulling him aside (when there's nothing good on TV!), going for a walk with him, and asking him what's going on. Do this gently and like you really want to know. Sometimes a midlife crisis happens right around when other life changes happen, such as your dad moving in. Think about how you're going to handle it if you find out he is cheating. It's all very sad, and it happens so often.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.