Lost Trust in His Wife
Q: I think my wife is seeing someone. She works at the elementary school and doesn't come home until 6 p.m., saying she stays in the building after school to help out. If I call her on her cell she says she can't answer it because she's on the school property but I think she can because it's after school hours. She tells me I'm being crazy. I'm a little jealous of one of the maintenance crew because I once saw him look at her. All of a sudden I don't trust her. — Todd, 32
Dr. Susan: There's something weird about your suspicion of one of the maintenance crew due to his having once looked at your wife. I'm not saying your gut instincts are definitely wrong. You might try asking your wife to come home earlier more often (say you miss her or want to spend more time with her or wish she had time to make nice dinners, or whatever). I'm a little surprised that she's "helping out" regularly after a day's paid work, but perhaps she enjoys the atmosphere of the school and feeling useful. If you need to reach her, try calling the office next time. If your marriage is otherwise good and happy, though, she should be willing to tell you more specifically what she's doing all that time, rather than calling you crazy.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.