Did He Say "I Love You" Too Soon?
Q: I feel an amazing connection to this woman I started dating a few weeks ago. We're having a great time getting to know each other and I really see a future with her. At the end of a date recently, I slipped and said, "I love you." It wasn't planned and — of course — she didn't say it back. She didn't say anything, in fact. I'm worried I freaked her out. How do I recover from this? Do I talk to her about it or act like it never happened? — Chase, 22
Dr. Susan: Just proceed as if you hadn't said the "L" word so soon. Not everyone is ready to announce their loving feelings aloud, but it doesn't mean she didn't register what you said. Give it more time, get to know her better, talk about how you see your future (with or without her), and see how things develop. There are some women who get scared away by such early pronouncements of love, and there are some who don't mind but aren't able to reciprocate honestly. Doesn't mean it won't happen eventually.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.