She Goes All Out for the Thrills

Q: My girlfriend likes adventures. When we first went out, she liked to ride roller coasters and so did I. Now she keeps trying newer things and expecting me to go too. We did white water rafting and parasailing. Now she is really pushing me to go rock climbing, but I'm not into it. I work hard and just want to relax when I get home. Plus I don't really want to take all these chances for a thrill. I'm fine doing everyday things. I don't know if I should ask her to stop taking these risks or just to leave me out of it. Maybe I need to start thinking about finding a new girlfriend. I'm not sure what to do. - Ben, 38

Dr. Susan: I feel your pain! Some people take greater and greater risks for more intense thrills, and some of us (the saner ones!), aren't willing to go there. Seems to me you have gone along with most of her adventures. Rock climbing isn't something you can do casually without some training and equipment. If she wants to do it, fine, but you shouldn't feel pressured if it's not your thing. Your decision may depend on what she takes up next. If that, too, is an activity you're not interested in joining, and you maybe even worry about her safety while she does it, than you should consider whether the two of you have enough in common to be a couple.

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