How Not to Seem Like a Creep
Q: How do I get a woman I often see in the grocery store to talk to me? People always say you can find people to date anywhere. But I don't have any idea how to ask her out without coming across as a creep. I haven't dated since I got divorced two years ago. I see this woman about once every week or two, and she smiles at me, so I think she has noticed me too. How can I meet her? - Howard, 62
Dr. Susan: You won't be seen as creepy if you take it very slow and simply start a conversation about something in the store. This woman's smile may be merely a friendly smile, and not a come-on. If you say, "I used to get such-and-such here, but I haven't found it lately," or "This may sound dumb, but do you know how to tell when peaches are ripe?" or anything of that ilk. Questions are good. If she responds and then says something extra, rather than wheeling her cart away quickly, feel free to try to continue the conversation. Meanwhile, check her hand for rings, and check her basket (unobtrusively) for husband-like items.
Yes, it's said you can meet someone anywhere, but it's not easy and the odds aren't great for any particular interaction.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.