When It's Just Play-Flirting

Q: I recently moved to a new city. I haven't met many people yet, but I do visit the same coffee shop every morning and look forward to bantering with the cute barista. How can I tell if she's flirting or just good at her job? Is there a way to ask her out without sounding like a creep? -- Ben, 24

Dr. Susan: Your barista probably gets asked out a lot, so don't worry about being taken for a creep. But how about easing into the situation by saying something like, "I bet you get asked out a lot working behind this counter," or "You're so cute and friendly, I bet you have at least one boyfriend." See how she responds. She might seem open to you, or she might say something light to avoid being serious. Or just tiptoe a little closer by saying, "What do you like to do when you're not working?" And see where that conversation takes you. By the way, being a light-hearted easy-going flirt IS being good at her job.

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