Is Her Online Personality Real?
Q: Can you judge someone by their Facebook page? I recently started dating a great girl. She's smart and funny — but you'd never know that from her Facebook profile. She's constantly sharing stupid motivational quotes, inane status updates and urban legends. Is this a sign or should I just ignore it? -- Drew, 32
Dr. Susan: Your question makes me smile. I have more than once had the experience of knowing someone in real life, whose Facebook postings make me want to barf. You wouldn't suppose a Facebook personality would be so different from the real one, but maybe the two personalities combined give you a better idea of who someone actually is.
Your new girl may be less smart than she appears, or at least less rational. You could certainly confront her about her sharing legends without verifying them first, but you probably won't make headway when it comes to those inspirational quotes so many Facebookers adore. So long as they're sharing positive quotes and not spewing hate, well, leave 'em to it. In other words, don't ignore her postings, but get to know her better before you decide if they're a hint of your eventual incompatibility.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.