She Gives Mixed Signals
Q: I'm 20, and a few months ago my girlfriend and I broke up because I didn't pay enough attention to her. She said that in the future she wouldn't be against giving it another try. After a while, we began to talk and hang out. Lately she has been sending mixed signals. Since I value my friendship with her, I don't know if it's a good idea to just put my feelings on the table and try to find out were I stand with her or hold my thoughts inside and hope that eventually I figure out what is going on. I'm afraid to make things worse. -- Luke
Dr. Susan: Maybe you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but you're a young dog, so learn to speak. And do it now. Otherwise you're going to be stuck in an on-again off-again half-hearted relationship. Of course, you have to consider that maybe your girlfriend is trying to get that attention she wants so badly by keeping you on the edge with all those mixed signals. If you'd prefer a genuine relationship that goes beyond friendly chit-chat and hanging out, you need to be willing to take a risk. If you spend your life afraid to speak up and "make things worse," you're always going to be settling for quite a bit less than you really want. Holding your thoughts inside is the direct route to a cold, distant, confusing, unsatisfying relationship. For both of you.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.