Her Indecision Killing Him
Q: My girlfriend is amazing, but she never has an opinion on where we should go and what we should do for dates. When I suggest an activity or a restaurant, she always replies with, "I don't care" and "whatever you want." It stresses me out because I don't get a sense of what she really wants and likes. I feel pressure that if the evening doesn't go well or the restaurant isn't good then it's my fault. Thoughts?
Dr. Anna: The way you're feeling is totally reasonable. A good relationship is one of equality—both people giving input and making decisions together. If she can't voice any preferences, then things quickly get out of balance and it does put all the pressure on you. If you want to change it up, talk to her about how her lack of input on your activities is making you feel. Even if she has no preferences, it's reasonable to ask her to make decisions sometimes. If after an honest conversation, nothing changes, it might be time to consider whether this is the right match for you.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.