Wife Won't Help
Q: My elderly mother has just been put into a nursing home. She and my wife have always had a terrible relationship and haven't spoken much up to this point. I'm the Power of Attorney and have been working hard to make sure everything is taken care of. I recently have had some health issues of my own and haven't been able to do as much for my mom as have asked my wife to help. She is refusing. My mom really needs the help. How can I convince my wife to be more involved during this difficult time? -Ken, 68
Dr. Anna: This sounds like a complicated situation where you've been stuck in the middle for a while. Without knowing more details, if your wife is refusing to be involved, you may need to seek outside resources. Trying to force your wife to help is likely just going to add stress to your own health and likely to your marriage. If your mother is already in a nursing home, your best bet is probably talking to the staff or social worker on site about possibilities for getting your mom the help she needs while you're dealing with your own health.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.