Her Parents Hate Him
Q: I met my girlfriend online and she is the most amazing girl in the world. We are in love and have been going out for two months. This is the first relationship for each of us. The problem is she had kept me a secret from her over-protective parents and they found out that we met online. Now they basically hate me and don't want me to ever talk with or see her again. I'm a very good person. They've taken her phone away, the internet away and she is very very depressed and I'm very helpless right now. Do you have any advice??? She is 18 and attending college, and I'm 19. -- Mark
Dr. Susan: Her strict parents are probably angry that your girlfriend kept you a secret. They also may be furious that she dared to date at all when they've told her she mustn't. They do sound over-protective, considering she's in college and most college girls do begin dating. Your problem is what to do from here on out. If you can get in touch, I'd suggest you ask your very depressed girlfriend to make an appointment to talk with her college counselor about her family situation, which sounds harsh. Meanwhile, see if she can find out what exactly they have against you. It would be premature for the two of you to try anything drastic, like running away together. Try to put things into perspective: What feels like undying love in your first relationship might not be quite that. I'm not saying you both aren't wild about one another, but you may not be able to do anything about that while your girlfriend lives at home. One way to prove your maturity would be to be superhumanly patient until her parents' anger diminishes and they trust her again. It may take a while!
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.