Q: Last year I fell in love for the first time. We dated for a while and were really close. After several months together we broke up. However, I still see her a lot, as she has the same group of friends as me. Recently we made really long eye contact for the first time in a year. She now looks at me a lot more, tries to get my attention, talks to me as if nothing ever happened and sends texts to me now and again. I still find her attractive and miss the times we had, but she is dating someone. I don't know what to do. I've tried dating girls since, but they just aren't as fun as her. Can you help me out? -- Dan, 19
Dr. Susan: This girl is flirting with you because she feels powerful when she gets a reaction out of you, while she doesn't have to follow through. If she's got a boyfriend, stay away! You say she talks to you as if nothing ever happened, but that's silly. You two went together for months, and you were in love with her. Not to acknowledge that fact makes her seem young and insensitive to your feelings. I understand that you miss her and no one has yet taken her place in your life, but she's just toying with you because she can. Keep dating other girls. It's way too soon to give up. See less of your ex, if you can, and open your heart to new women. Pursuing her is going to lead nowhere.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.