Q: My girlfriend and I had an argument and have separated. We were together for nine months. She said she never had feelings for me and now we do not communicate at all. Do I let her go her own way, or do I try to show her how much I love her? -- Roger, 44
Dr. Susan: If your girlfriend said she never had feelings for you, I don't believe it. She may have said it in anger for maximum hurt. Or, equally possible, she was waiting for the perfect opportunity to break up with you, and your big argument offered her a convenient "out." Certainly, you ought to make the effort to communicate with her one more time to find out if she has truly given up on the relationship. Then, yes, you do have to let her go. You've had nine months to "show her" how much you love her. If she didn't feel it, then it's too late now. I always like to suggest that people try to find out or figure out what went wrong, for the sake of not making the same mistakes with the next person, but sometimes one of the partners isn't interested in having that conversation.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.