Q: I was in a very stable, caring, two-year relationship with someone I really loved. I helped her and her family a lot. I stayed in the hospital with her many nights one time that she had surgery so her family could go and rest. Then six months ago, she and her family changed drastically. Her family wanted our relationship to end, and of course her being a Christian girl, she had to obey them. I had told her and her family a problem that I had, that my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I was really sad and cried. But they didn't even visit my mother. Christmas came and we never received anything. Until this day I don't know what happened. I don't want to get back with her or anything, I just want to know why they behaved like this so I can live without remembering them as a betrayal. Do you have any idea why they did that? -- Hank, 21
Dr. Susan: I'm a bit unclear on the order of things, but I think you're saying that your girlfriend's family suddenly stopped accepting you, and that she went along with their decision. I don't have any idea what would make them turn away from you suddenly like that, and especially to be so uncaring about your mother after you'd been so helpful to them. It may be that they saw you were becoming too serious, and for whatever reason they decided they didn't want her to eventually marry you. Rather than respect your feelings and tell you what was on their mind, they simply cut off relations. Sadly, your girlfriend DID betray you by not giving you an explanation. I understand your craving to know the full story, but some people aren't as nice as you thought they were. Your memories of this family might remain negatively tainted for some time to come. What a hard lesson in reality!
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.