How to Forgive Himself?
Q: I've been having memories haunt me lately of the things I've done in the past. I'm so ashamed about them and have asked forgiveness but they keep flashing back. My question is, how do I forgive myself and live my days without having these memories bring me down? I think I need a psychiatrist. It's really starting to depress me. -- Tim, 24
Dr. Susan: Ruminating about past actions that can't be changed is one of the thing people do when they're depressed. And it only makes them more depressed. Seeing a therapist, a doctor, or a psychiatrist would be something to try, even if only to explore whether your shaming memories are getting way out of hand. You may not yet grasp that just about everyone has stuff in their pasts that they wish they could make disappear. Maturity lies in finding a way to integrate that messy stuff with a more forward-looking version of yourself. We screw up, and hopefully we learn not to make the same mistakes again. Sometimes anti-depressants are prescribed to help a person stop worrying obsessively and begin living in real time again. I don't actually insist on "forgiving" myself for mistakes of the past. They're all learning experiences and part of being human. But do find someone to talk to. And good luck!
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.