Good Age Range for Dating?
Q: I'm approaching 50, divorced with no kids, and am considering dating women young enough to still start a family. I love kids. I'm having difficulty defining an appropriate age range to target. What should I do? -- Stew, 49
Dr. Susan: If you find someone compatible who wants to have children with you, what will matter is how flexible you are as a couple, not your actual ages. If you approach women specifically with the intent to use them as baby machines to catch up on this missed area of your life, some of them will run. Others, though, may find you a perfect match. If you try an online dating service, state your age parameters as widely as possible, and see who turns up seeking someone as old as you are.
It would be fine if you could meet women in a natural context, pursuing activities that interest you both. Some women are able and willing to have a child in their early forties these days (although the risks are higher). A 20-year age difference might present an added challenge, but if you're both mature and realistic and get to know each other and don't have wildly romantic notions of what to expect, it could work out beautifully. Of course, if you widen your search to include women closer to your age, you're likely to connect with women who already have children, and that could solve your problem.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.