Q: Why are men always being made out to be the bad guy? Don't women do anything wrong like getting drunk, squandering money and destroying finances, being lazy, not wanting to work, or even clean their own house or do their own laundry? I feel like a maid. Some women think they are too cute to get in trouble, and then when they do they want to squirm out of it. -- James, 62
Dr. Susan: Most people would like to be able to squirm out of trouble. Very cute women can get used to getting away with things other women wouldn't dare try. But you're over-generalizing. I take it that you find yourself with a woman who isn't doing her fair share. Laziness, alcohol-abuse, and not being able to handle money wisely are certainly not limited to one gender or the other. When you start feeling like a maid, whatever sex you are, it's time to sit your mate down and have a real talk about how to divide up the chores and responsibilities so both of you feel cherished, not exploited. What you've described is a person who hasn't had to grow up yet, but who knows how to manipulate you into doing everything. You don't have to tolerate a drunken money-squanderer. Put your foot down and stop doing her laundry.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.