Overreacting to Previous Breakups? You're Just Gonna Fail Faster
So you had a bad day .... actually, a bad relationship. And now you've made yourself some rules to avoid a dreaded replay.
When you think about those qualities in your ex that led to the downfall of your relationship, have you made a mental list of deal breakers for the next prospective partner in your life? You might think that's a great idea. You might think that can save you from making another major mistake. You might think that can save you from future heartbreak.
However, you might just be saving yourself from ever having a satisfying relationship if you're setting hard and fast rules that apply to one major muckup in your life.
If you're so intent on never failing again, you might want to reconsider that long do-not-call list. All those don'ts are actually likely to help you fail faster. How so?
You Appear Rigid
If you're talking to someone new and you start asking a bunch of questions from your checklist, you're going to come across as an inflexible investigator. Does anyone want to be grilled on the first date? Rarely!
You Raise Doubts
When you're suspicious about your new hottie because of your old naughty, you're actually throwing shade on yourself. Would you want to get closer to someone who's guarded against the get-go? Doubtful!
You Lose Trust
Showing that you're skeptical about anyone new makes you distrustful too. Who wants to hang out with a date who assumes the worst about you before getting to know the best of you? Desperate darlings!
You Wallow in the Past
When you judge your new date by the standards your ex set, you're staying stuck in your previous emotional muck. When you sling mud at someone who should be starting on solid ground with you, you're surely headed for the sewer. Flush!
You Miss Out
By focusing on your someone-did-me-wrong song, you're overlooking the opportunity to get to know someone who could be your one true love. You're turning them off before they have a chance to turn you on. Lights out!
So if you really, truly want a chance at a successful love life, take it easy this time. Approach your next new babe with a fresh outlook. Invest in the possibilities by giving them your time and attention and starting with a little faith. If you don't give someone new the chance to wow you, your next relationship is destined to be an overwhelming washout.
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