I live with my girlfriend of fifteen years who makes all the money and controls all the finances while I do all the household chores. Over the years, we've gotten more and more into her disciplining me, mostly for my "bad attitude". She uses a hairbrush and has gotten progressively more intense. It's strange because while part of me wants to avoid these discipline sessions, another part wants more and harder. To shorten a long story, we've been apart for the past week. I know I'm past due for a spanking, but I've left the hairbrush somewhere by accident, and all she'll have available is a very scary thick, rubber paddle. I'm very nervous that she is going to use that on me and it will be more than what I want. Yet, this is what I've asked for, and I cannot turn back.