We are having our kitchen remodeled and, since my wife and I both work, we asked my mother-in-law Arlene if she would just hang around and keep an eye on things. It was a three day remodel and the first two days went without a hitch. The third day, I had a chance to sneak out of work and I thought I'd stop in and see the finishing touches being done. The contractor's truck was in the driveway, so I parked on the street and walked around back to come into the kitchen from the laundry room. I'm not sure what I expected to see, but what I didn't expect to see was my more than plump fifty-five year old mother-in-law having sex with the contractor, Jim, in our new kitchen. I wasn't worried about being heard because Arlene was screaming and Jim was calling her every name in the book. I just stood there in shock watching for the next few minutes as Jim took care of business. When Jim collapsed on top of Arlene, I decided to go out the way I came in.