I knew from a young age that I was gay, but I still had sex with a girl. Later, it was my first experience with a guy and it was wonderful. It didn't feel right, but it was awesome. So, I continued to live my life as being a straight guy. I know that I always admired pretty guys. At same time, if his personality stunk, it was a turn-off. So I got married at later time in my life; at age thirty-one. I knew then that I was gay, but at the same time, I was in love with a beautiful lady and she was having my baby. Life started to get more stressful because my urges for men didn't go away. They stayed and I had so much bad luck in my life that I started to believe that God was punishing me for living a lie. It just got worse and worse, so I finally came out to my wife and it was hard. She knew I was bi-sexual because of bi-sexual porn we had. I then left my hometown and moved away to find what I was really looking for. I am now thirty-eight and am still alone, but I am still happy knowing that I can live one life and not have a split personality. Things in my life have gotten better than I ever expected. Yes, I have to say, "The truth well set you free." How I survive at work is by giving respect and, in return, I get respect. Believe me; I live in the most red neck area.