6 Clues You’re Too Clingy
It’s a familiar phenomenon. A fun single gal – with a great job, interesting hobbies and a handle on life – lands a man and suddenly can’t seem to think for herself.
Is she free Friday night? Well, she’ll have to check. Does she like that new Thai restaurant? Well, her boyfriend just hates lemongrass and that’s good enough for her. Would she like to go to brunch? Oh, can sweetums come along?
No news flash here: girlfriends that stick to their guys like glue are a major relationship buzz kill. Are you guilty of driving your man – and your friends! – crazy with your clinginess?
The phrase “attached at the hip” feels literal.
It’s great that you feel so close to him – but that doesn’t mean you need to prove it physically at every opportunity, including his office holiday party and his great uncle’s funeral. Scale back the mandatory hand-holding, full body contact, hair-ruffling and public displays of affection. He’ll be relieved if you feel comfortable enough to do your own thing in social situations…and all the more eager to get his hands on you later.
You can’t make up your own mind.
Ask yourself if he really needs to weigh in on your every decision. For example, he might feel it unnecessary to be consulted on your decisions involving the precise shade of blonde for your highlights or which flavor of ice cream you want. It’s still a good idea to consult him on major issues – like how to celebrate your anniversary or where you should go on vacation together -- but don’t look to him for reassurance of your decision-making abilities.
You stick him with the social planning.
Do you find yourself asking him every Thursday what you guys are doing this weekend? He hates feeling like you rely on him to supply all the fun and entertainment in the relationship, because he feels guilty every time he wants to hang out with the guys or has to work late or take a business trip. Show him you can do your own thing.
You need his (constant) reassurance.
He feels that the fact that he’s sleeping with you is enough evidence of his attraction, so he doesn’t understand your maniacal need for him to constantly praise your good looks and sex appeal. It’s okay to occasionally remind an inattentive man of what a hot babe he’s scored, just refrain from nagging him for endless reassurance that, yes, yes, he’s the luckiest man alive.
You trick him with tests.
Some dependent dames indignantly inform their guys when she’s called him three times and it’s his turn to pick up the phone. Or she’ll tally up the number of texts she’s sent, versus those he’s sent, and read into what the ratio means for their relationship. He doesn’t place the same importance on “just checking in” as you do and isn’t going to dial up just to chat. Especially when he knows you will anyway.
You’ve made overanalyzing his behavior into an art.
Do you freak when he doesn’t end a phone call with ‘I love you’? Have you spent hours with your girlfriends figuring out what he meant by “working late” last week? Could you write a critical analysis of the precise meaning in the wording of his status updates? Overanalyzing his every little action will drive him crazy…and make you look that way. Do what he does: take things at face value.
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