6 Lies Your Girlfriend Tells You
By Laura Snyder
Before you get fired up about her deceitful deeds, know this: We are all genetically programmed to lie. And we do it all the time. Studies have shown that most people lie once or twice a day – that’s as much as you brush your teeth! – and over the course of a week, we deceive about 30 percent of those with whom we interact.
Just as surely as you’ve said, “You do not look fat!”, she’s told you one of these lies.
“Marriage Isn’t Important.”
Our own – totally unscientific – research indicates that no woman alive actually feels this way. Those that do seem to change their tune when they meet the right guy. This line can mean many things, from “I do actually want to get married, but I can’t tell you until I’m sure it won’t totally freak you out,” to “I’m looking for Mr. Right…and I don’t think you’re him.” Either way, it is definitely an end to your fantasy of finding a woman who’s as turned off by commitment as you are.
“But I Love Your Friends.”
Maybe. But even if they are a bunch of great guys, she could still do without them hanging around all the time. This relatively harmless lie can actually work to your benefit: if you keep the third-wheel group visits to a minimum, she’ll probably go right on pretending to be amused when you all ogle NFL cheerleaders together.
“He’s Not My Type.”
Sound like the equivalent of “I was not looking at her”? That’s because it is. Look, we don’t want to get caught crushing on some guy anymore than you want us to call you on ogling that chesty redhead passing us on the street.
“It’s Okay, It Happens To A Lot of Guys.”
For the record: it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal. Much like its cousins “size doesn’t matter” and “you’re the best I’ve ever had,” this lie is just to restore confidence to your frail little male ego. But we really do know that you’ll have the occasional, uh, sexual shortcoming. We’re reassuring you just as much as we’re reassuring ourselves that it’s not a reflection on us.
Tell me you didn’t buy this one! Didn’t you know? You’re never right. Not ever. And if she admits you are, it’s only to end the verbal portion of the argument and get you off your guard so she can employ her underhanded elaborate scheme to prove she’s right.
“Just Tell Me. I Won’t Get Mad.”
Stick to your instincts on this one, buddy. If you think she’ll get mad – about the fact that you cheated, you think that dress does make her look fat, her best friend is better looking, whatever – she will. This might be a good time to come up with your own butt-saving lie.
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