By Laura Snyder

While there are lots and lots of ways to make a good sex life better – lotions, and teddies and chairs, oh my! – it only takes one of these seven deadly sex sins to ruin it.

Are you committing any of these seven deadly sins?

Sex Sin #1: Laziness

Are you getting more than you’re giving during your sessions in the sack? Basking in plenty of pleasure is a nice problem to have, but being a lazy lover won’t win you any awards in the bedroom. Take the initiative in your intimate adventures, not just by making the first move at least some of the time, but by shaking up your routine with a new position, location or accessory.

Sex Sin #2: Stress

Too much stress outside the bedroom can mean too little action inside it. If sex is looking like just another thankless task on your to-do list, you need to take action to calm your frazzled nerves. Good health is a means to good sex, so make sure you’re eating right, exercising and getting plenty of sleep. Still stressing? Schedule a massage, arrange for a relaxing weekend away, or just hire some help to minimize your daily chores until you can recharge your lagging libido.

Sex Sin #3: Shyness

It’s not at all strange to feel shy in the sack considering that our carnal culture is constantly telling us that only the buff and brazen have smoldering sex appeal. But you’ll have a much better time in bed if you can leave your insecurity issues scrapped in the corner along with your clothes. Once you stop thinking about whether your tummy is jiggling or if you’re making weird noises, you’ll be able to focus on all the fabulous sensations your body is capable of feeling…and giving.

Sex Sin #4: Ignorance

In order to achieve you-could-cut-off-my-arm-right-now-and-I-wouldn’t-notice style satisfaction, you have to know what it takes to get you there. Learn exactly what spot on your inner thigh makes you shudder with pleasure or what kind of kiss makes you swoon with delight. And don’t forget to share the lesson with your partner.

Sex Sin #5: Fear

So your man wants you to dress up like a slutty policewoman and read him his rights. Or your girl wants to tie you to the headboard. While your knee-jerk reaction may be along the “what kind of freak are you?” lines, consider indulging your mate in their harmless little fantasy (so long as it is, in fact, harmless). Assuming you don’t have any real moral objection and no one will get hurt, what’s the damage in being a little more open-minded? If you dismiss his or her every suggestion as “perverted” or “bad”, you’ll not only be sending the message that your partner’s needs and pleasure are totally unimportant to you, you’ll pretty much guarantee that your mate won’t suggest anything remotely interesting ever again.

Sex Sin #6: Squeamishness

Yes, some of the most climactic sexual pleasures – oral attention, for example – have a gross-out factor for some unenlightened people. But no one gets turned-on by a partner who wrinkles up his or her nose and says, “eww,” as their partner gets into bed. Time to get used to the smells, tastes and mess that make up great sex. Or get used to not having sex at all.

Sex Sin #7: Forgetting the Relationship

If your lovemaking has slipped from spectacular to so-so, examine the health of your partnership outside the bedroom. Women need to feel a positive connection with their lovers. Problems in a relationship often will eat away at your sex life, so open the lines of communication, try to work through your troubles, vent your frustrations, then forgive, forget, fornicate.