By Laura Snyder

On the playing field of the dating game, things are rarely what they seem. The guy who seems like Mr. Right is suddenly Mr. Already Married. The girl who tells you she's easy-going is suddenly turning up her nose at the funky dive bar you introduced her to.

Most especially, what the sexes are saying is most definitely not what they mean. Here, we decode the most common dating double talk. Can you hear me now?

She Says: "Do you think she's prettier than me?"

What she's really saying is "please, please, please don't tell me you think she's prettier than me." Here's a hint. Whenever you're with a girl, you'd do well to remind yourself - and her - that she's the most enchanting creature you have ever laid eyes on.

He Says: "I'm 'not ready' for a relationship"

Timing is everything to a guy. He feels like he needs to be in a certain place in his life before he's ready to really settle down. For it to work out with one of these not-ready Freddies, one of two things has to happen. One, he'll achieve whatever he's waiting for (a six-figure income, a chance to have a threesome, whatever), or, two, he'll meet a girl who makes him forget all about his silly schedule. When he says he's not ready, that means you're not her.

She Says: "Does this make me look fat?"

Pllllease tell us you knew she didn't want a straight answer here. She's fishing for compliments (trust us, you don't hand them out nearly enough) and wants your reassurance that she's still the hot mama who caught your attention in the first place.

He Says: "I'll call you"

It could mean he'll call you. But if the phone's not ringing, it's because he's more spineless than heartless. After all, "I'll call you" is a lot easier to say than, "Well, you're not really my type and you've got that weird laugh and I can't believe you actually see any merit in reality television." Accept it has a graceful defeat and be glad you escaped with your ego intact.