By Laura Snyder

We’ve all heard that relationships take work. And that’s true enough. But dating and relating shouldn’t be a constant struggle.

If you feel like your relationship is all work and no play, here are four hard-work dating habits you can dump.

Dump This Dating Habit: Sharing Every Hobby

Maybe when you first started dating, you lived and breathed in unison, but once you’re happily cemented as a couple, it’s perfectly okay to do your own thing. Time apart is not time poorly spent. Enjoy your hobbies alone! You won’t be wasting your time doing something you don’t enjoy and, better still, won’t feel resentful about it. And – bonus! --you’ll have something interesting to say when you get back together, and will have had a chance to miss each other.

Dump This Dating Habit: Loving Each And Every Friend and Family

It’s unrealistic to think you’re going to adore all of them anyway. It’s perfectly okay to politely excuse yourself from yet another awkward family gathering or beg off attending a crazy college-roommate reunion. Your time will be better spent sucking up to the family and friends that really matter – and whom you genuinely like.

Dump This Dating Habit: Over-Analyzing

It’s good to pay attention to the big issues – trust, respect, a fulfilling sex life. But you’re in dangerous territory when you spend too many hours contemplating the meaning of the tone of his voice in his answering machine message, or whether the mention of her new work colleague is somehow significant. Don’t sweat that small stuff unless it’s part of a big-picture pattern.

Dump This Dating Habit: Fixating on the Future

Women, in particular, love to take the temperature of the relationship. But it’s exhausting to always be focused on the future. Instead of worrying over “where this relationship is going,” why not just enjoy where it’s at now?