Is Dating Obsolete?
What He Thinks/She Thinks About Love, Sex, and Who's to Blame
Call us cynical, but we suspect that good, old-fashioned, dinner-and-a-movie-with-maybe-a-kiss-goodnight dating is dead. Especially for the under 35 singleton set.
Taking its place in the lexicon is the casual, blurry "hanging out" or even more vague "hooking up". There are theories as to why we've moved in this direction. For example, "hanging out" protects our egos by keeping our interest level suspect. "Hooking up" lets us sample a lot of partners without getting tied down with any particular one.
With all these new options, we wonder: Is dating obsolete?
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Allow me to eulogize the 'date' as we know it. Hanging out or hooking up is the new dating. It's an opportunity to get to know each other better with less pressure. It doesn't carry the emotional attachment/relationship baggage. It's spontaneous and casual, which usually equals more fun. Plus it's cheaper, easier and contains most of the perks of real dating. And I don't have to buy flowers or even call the next day. But, seriously, I think women these days would look at me strange if I did ask one out on a real date. It feels so formal now.
I think it's exhausting. With a date, you know the rules and expectations. When you're just "hanging out" it can be hard to tell if you're just platonically spending time together, watching him play his freaking Wii or whatever, or if it's something more. I think guys also have a tendency to use the whole "hanging out" thing as a way to sneak into then "hooking up" You have several casual "hang outs" and then wind up in bed together, without ever having actually had a first date or really knowing if he's interested in you or just in getting laid. That feels really hollow...and awkward.