Lies Guys Tell You in Bed
By Laura Snyder
No man is a better con artist than when he's trying to convince you to go to bed with him. Have you fallen for any of these fibs?
"This Has Never Happened To Me Before"
When he's not exactly, uh, rising to the occasion, it's a whole lot easier to imply that it has something to do with you, than it is for him to admit he's not on his game. Men generally can't risk the damage to their delicate egos by admitting that they have trouble with anything, especially if it means acknowledging he's not always a stud.
"I don't really watch porn"
Our own informal male surveys have revealed that, yes, they are always thinking about sex (sex with you, sex with the girl on TV, sex with you and the girl on TV...). Having learned this is not something that makes women swoon, men have mastered automatic responses such as "I don't watch porn" and "I was not staring at her."
"I can't wear a condom; they're too tight."
Riiiight. According to manufacturers, only six percent of the male population really needs an extra large size. Again, it's an ego thing - and a pathetic attempt to get out of protected sex. Tell him his super-sized delusions will just have to fit into a regular-sized rubber.
"Why would I masturbate when I have you?"
Why bother fibbing about this one, guys, when we know it can't possibly be true? According to the latest research, 95 percent of men are hooked on their own hand-y work. They can't all be single and sex-starved.
"Oh, I've never had a one-night stand."
Lying often presents a better alternative than facing the consequences of the truth. In those cases, he's more likely to tell you what you want to hear. That's why he skims over the actual number of one-night stands he's had, or shaves some numbers off his list of lovers.
"Don't worry, we can just cuddle."
Yeah. And when in your experience has that ever held true?
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