Rebound Rules to Follow
By Laura Snyder
Whether you call it a ďreboundĒ or not, eventually youíll have to have to date that first new someone after a breakup. But there is a way to reenter the dating scene without ricocheting wildly off the next potential date who catches your eye. Here are our post-breakup precautions.
Rebound Rule #1: Donít Jump Back Into a Serious Relationship
The ultimate rebound mistake: taking a casual connection to someone and trying to make it into some kind of relationship. Itís easy Ė too easy! Ė to dump all the baggage from your last relationship on the doorstep of the next guy who comes along. But sooner or later, youíll realize youíre just going to have to unpack all that stuff instead of just schlepping it around.
Rebound Rule #2: Let Loose, but Donít Come Undone
Itís normal to want to go a little crazy after a breakup. But you donít have to totally lose your mind. While it can be certainly be fun to exorcise the demons of your last affair with one Ė or many -- new flings, itís not without risk. Think long and hard before doing something you may later regret Ė like sleeping with a friend or work buddy, having unprotected sex with a stranger, or calling up your ex.
Rebound Rule #3: Donít Make A Point
Another classic rebound mistake is forging a new relationship with someone whoís the exact opposite of your ex. On the surface, it seems brilliant to be making a point about your exís inadequacies Ė See? There are men out there who like shopping and can appreciate my cute new shoes! Ė but ultimately it leaves you blind to the new dudeís equally annoying flaws.
Rebound Rule #4: Be Upfront with Unsuspecting New Dates
Youíre bound to be a little touchy after a terrible breakup. Itís okay Ė even encouraged Ė to explain to new dates that youíre still recovering and arenít ready for something serious just yet. Just keep it light: keep the kvetching and venting for your friends and your shrink. While you do want to be honest about your feelings, thereís no need to bore your new paramour with the details.
Rebound Rule #5: Make No Comparisons
Donít be tempted to prove how much better youíre off by comparing your new love to your old one. If you find yourself proclaiming things like, ďNew Guy Y is everything Old Guy X wasnít,Ē youíre probably not noticing that New Guy Y lacks all kinds of qualities in his own right. Ultimately, a rebound isnít about finding The One, itís about just realizing youíre capable of moving on.
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