Rebound Rules to Follow
By Laura Snyder
Whether you call it a “rebound” or not, eventually you’ll have to have to date that first new someone after a breakup. But there is a way to reenter the dating scene without ricocheting wildly off the next potential date who catches your eye. Here are our post-breakup precautions.
Rebound Rule #1: Don’t Jump Back Into a Serious Relationship
The ultimate rebound mistake: taking a casual connection to someone and trying to make it into some kind of relationship. It’s easy – too easy! – to dump all the baggage from your last relationship on the doorstep of the next guy who comes along. But sooner or later, you’ll realize you’re just going to have to unpack all that stuff instead of just schlepping it around.
Rebound Rule #2: Let Loose, but Don’t Come Undone
It’s normal to want to go a little crazy after a breakup. But you don’t have to totally lose your mind. While it can be certainly be fun to exorcise the demons of your last affair with one – or many -- new flings, it’s not without risk. Think long and hard before doing something you may later regret – like sleeping with a friend or work buddy, having unprotected sex with a stranger, or calling up your ex.
Rebound Rule #3: Don’t Make A Point
Another classic rebound mistake is forging a new relationship with someone who’s the exact opposite of your ex. On the surface, it seems brilliant to be making a point about your ex’s inadequacies – See? There are men out there who like shopping and can appreciate my cute new shoes! – but ultimately it leaves you blind to the new dude’s equally annoying flaws.
Rebound Rule #4: Be Upfront with Unsuspecting New Dates
You’re bound to be a little touchy after a terrible breakup. It’s okay – even encouraged – to explain to new dates that you’re still recovering and aren’t ready for something serious just yet. Just keep it light: keep the kvetching and venting for your friends and your shrink. While you do want to be honest about your feelings, there’s no need to bore your new paramour with the details.
Rebound Rule #5: Make No Comparisons
Don’t be tempted to prove how much better you’re off by comparing your new love to your old one. If you find yourself proclaiming things like, “New Guy Y is everything Old Guy X wasn’t,” you’re probably not noticing that New Guy Y lacks all kinds of qualities in his own right. Ultimately, a rebound isn’t about finding The One, it’s about just realizing you’re capable of moving on.
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