Stop Competing and You Both Win
When you get comfortable in a relationship, sometimes you find that instead of becoming more of a team, you and your sweetie are frequently competing to prove who's right.
Does this sound familiar?
"I took out the trash two days ago! It's your turn!"
"Well, I unloaded the dishwasher and put new toilet paper on the roll because you left it empty!"
Stop Promoting Tension
These kinds of tit-for-tat discussions are a dangerous development that can turn into a bad habit. Competing and blaming increase resentment between you and your partner and erode the harmony you should be cultivating.
If you expect to be welcomed home with a list of things you've done wrong, is that really an environment you're anxious to return to? Be real - that knotted stomach and those tense neck muscles aren't what you intended when you agreed to become a couple!
Contribute Something Extra
So how can you stop the downward spiral of relationship competition? For starters, do something unexpectedly nice for your honey. If you know it's her turn to clean the kitchen, clean as you cook so that she'll have less to do after dinner. Then she'll have more time to snuggle with you and will be feeling warmed up instead of worn out.
Ideally, doing unexpected favors for your lover will start an upward cycle and he or she will reciprocate. Maybe you'll find that if you take out the trash on his night, he'll be in the mood to give you that massage you've been craving.
Share Words of Praise
But doing unexpected chores for your partner isn't the only way to stop competing and start cooperating. Express appreciation as well. Tell him how much you love it when he unloads the dishwasher before you get home from work. Or slip a thank you note in her lunch for the extra effort she made to keep things running smoothly at home last week when you worked overtime.
Most couples find that when you're bickering over who's right, your intimacy is likely to suffer. Women don't feel like giving you the goods at night if you're not helping to make things good in your relationship throughout the day. That's just the way their bodies and minds work. And men really like to know that you recognize and applaud the efforts they're making to ease the stress in your lives.
Win in a New Way
In your interactions with your sweetheart, you have to show and tell that you're a team in order to feel like one. So instead of trying to prove who's done more chores or who's right about which way the silverware should be put in the dishwasher, try a new kind of competition. See who can make the other partner feel more appreciated, admired and loved. Tell her how much you love her organizing skills. Tell him how delicious his cooking is.
Challenge yourself to inspire more smiles and laughter in your honey. Try it and you just might find that your teamwork in the bedroom skyrockets too!
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