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Are You Stressed to Impress?

What He Thinks/She Thinks About Love, Sex, and Who's to Blame

During the palm-sweating, nervous chattering, is-there-something-in-my-teeth nightmare we call the first date, it's easy to lose the point. And what is the point, you ask? To get to know each other a little, to determine the mutual interest in a second date. Right?

Well, that's what many are out there for. Others, it seems, are on a mission to impress the pants off (literally!) of the person across the table.

Who's right?

He Says: Wow Her

If you only get one chance to make a good first impression, shouldn't you make an effort to impress? For example, if "the real me" prefers grubby sweats to button-down dressy duds would you rather I showed up to dinner in the sweats? If "the real me" isn't interested in watching that ridiculous foreign film with you, do you want me to complain all night? Look at it this way. We have our whole relationship for you to hate "the real me" ... at least let me impress you on our first date.

She Says: Show Me Who You Are

While you should probably be the best version of yourself on a first date, you still need to be recognizable as yourself. Don't try to impress me with food, or movies, or entertainment that you don't really like (but that you think looks good); I'm only going to be disappointed later to find out we don't have as much in common as you implied.

• Read More He Said/She Said Advice
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