The Bad Dater
What He Says/She Says About Love, Sex and Who's to Blame
A bad date tends to go nowhere. Neglect to make reservations and you're forced to walk the streets deciding between McDonald's and Wendy's? It's over. Wait too late in the week to make Saturday night plans? Forget it.
But many happy couples will tell you that the folks who make great partners weren't always the ones who'd mastered the dating etiquette thing.
So we ask: is the system flawed? Is courtship a good predictor of relationship potential?
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Some of my best girlfriends didn't blow me away on our early dates. But sometimes seemingly bad behavior can be explained by nerves. By example, lots of people are smart and understand a particular course's material, but don't do well on the test. Dating is a major source of anxiety. Not everyone is going to excel at it. So, no, the system doesn't work especially well. But since it's the only system we've got, I guess we'll just have to make do.
I think you can learn a lot by someone's behavior during the courtship process. Not making reservations can forecast future acts of thoughtlessness. Not calling me early in the week to make a weekend date might indicate that he doesn't value my time. Thoughfulness, consideration, respect are all things a good relationship needs - and all things you can figure out in few dates.